Hello and happy 2024!
I had an idyllic New Year’s Eve spent eagle watching in Alton (we saw 10!), playing pinball with Derek, eating delicious Korean food, and watching one of my all time favorite films, The Sound of Music.
Today I took an Everything Bath, one where I pull out all the stops - galaxy light, candles, playlist, bath bomb, etc.
The last couple of years I have carved out some intentional time to practice tarot and journal at the end of the year. I lit a candle at my desk and pulled 3 cards to be a compass for me in 2024. And i’ll be honest, my initial reaction was that these ones weren’t very “fun”, but symbolize areas of growth that feel painful and necessary.
My instinct was to turn these questions inward; what would it mean if I trusted myself? How do I more truthfully communicate with myself, even when it’s hard? How do I better support myself? And in turn how do I better communicate with others?
Something that ended up coming out in my journaling is how I can often experience pride in my work, and shame when I rest. What would it feel like to be as proud of my rest as I am of my work? I am deeply curious and excited to explore this question in 2024. As I was wrapping up business odds and ends this year I made a series of changes—the biggest one being that I am going to pay myself the same amount every month and save the rest between taxes and savings (so that I can in turn “pay myself” when I have bad months/not freak out and spiral but instead take the time off with ease).
It seemed fitting to have this card pull shortly after- I am already intuitively creating new systems that will help me to better experience consistency in my work, so that I can have more spaciousness to rest and trust myself.
I’ve also been reflecting on my photography journey and how quickly I’ve placed expectations on myself there. Using my intention of trust, I’d like to shift more into trusting the process and seeing what unfolds without overthinking it or getting many steps ahead. It creates a pressure cooker of expectations that frankly kills my creativity and with it being a hobby I have the luxury to explore it at my pace.
I worked through the holiday season and am really looking forward to taking a week off this month and heading to my friend’s place in Jackson, WY. I’ll be dog sitting while she’s away and have plans to cross country ski, take photos, and go to the hot springs.
I’ve also gifted myself Marlee Grace’s newsletter class for Christmas and am going to spend a little time visioning what I want this space to be. I started substack in the wake of my 2021 social media sabbatical when I was running away and not really towards something. So I am asking myself the question of what would I like to run towards, and how can this space be a tool in that?
Thanks for being here :)